Meet Emily Freese and her dog, GracieBelle. Emily will be received into the Catholic Church on Saturday evening at the Easter Vigil at Saint Agnes in Fowlerville. Deo gratias! In a remarkably honest and beautiful personal testimony, below, Emily explains how her journey towards the Church began five years ago when she was so depressed she considered taking her own life. In her desperation, she turned to God in prayer. Read what happened next as Emily explains her story:

My name is Emily Freese and I am 31-years-old. I grew up in Westland, Michigan, and moved out to Fowlerville, Michigan, in 2015. I live with my husband Aaron and dog GracieBelle. I currently work in sales at a commercial bathroom accessories company.

If I am being completely honest, in 2017 I almost took my own life (something I never thought I was going to say outside of Confession but its where it began, so here we go). After moving an hour away from friends and family, and my husband regularly on business trips, I developed depression, anxiety and I was not sleeping well while he was away. The night almost killed myself, after multiple unanswered texts, I felt I had no support.

So, I prayed what I thought was going to be my last prayer. I told God I could not keep doing this anymore, I needed support and someone to get me through this night. After siting in silence, I believe God told me to text Courtney. She answered within seconds and planned a girls’ night a couple days later.

The evening of the girls’ night, I had felt so much love and support from the three women and they gave me the strength I needed to keep going. Over the next two years my faith and prayer with God grew. I prayed the Our Father every day on my way to, and from, work. If I was dealing with fear or anxiety, I would add in the Serenity prayer and switch to listening to SmileFM.

By the end of 2019/ beginning of 2020 I started therapy, anti-depressants and made the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults (RCIA) a New Year’s resolution. RCIA was always something I thought about ever since my family stopped going to church when I was 12 or 13 but, because of my fear, I never made it happen. By 2021, therapy started unleashing childhood trauma and caused mental chaos. The anti-depressants made it harder to shake the negative moods and I was terrified to fall back to where I was in 2017.

So, I decided with my therapist to take a break from the anti-depressants and therapy and, instead, to focus on my relationship with God. I downloaded the Hallow App and started to pray the Rosary regularly and it became a coping mechanism when I was dealing with stress or anxiety.

A couple months later I started looking at Catholic churches in the area. After a month of reading about each, looking at the event calendars and seeing what programs they offer, I bit the bullet and emailed Marie at St. Agnes in Fowlerville.

I was interested in the Alpha and RCIA program they had. I met with her. She went over the details of the Alpha course, the process of RCIA program and gave me a tour of the Church. When we were on the tour, I felt at home. The building and meditation garden were beautiful.

The first night of Alpha I was terrified but I told myself I had to go, even through the fear. Marie saw me when I walked in and introduced me to Deacon Roger. I had told him how I was dealing with anxiety and depression, how I had tried therapy and anti-depressants and how they weren’t working out. I decided I needed to give it to God and see what He could do with it.

Deacon Roger explained depression to me as a dark seed in your soul and to get through it you need to just continually do things to cause cracks in it, whether you want to do them or not, as long as they cause the crack. It lets God in. The bigger the crack, the more light God can let in.

Then I met Doug Childs and Carol Phillips. Doug shared his story and offered an ear if I ever needed to talk. Carol gave me her phone number and told me I could call her whenever I needed to talk and that we could meet up for coffee or walk at the park. Carol also invited me to join her and Rick at Mass, something I was terrified to do on my own. She walked me through the entire Mass when I couldn’t remember or didn’t know what to do and eventually she became my RCIA sponsor.

The most impactful moment in my life was the Alpha class on forgiveness. I learned that I no longer needed to hold on to the hurt or things that were weighing me down. I forgave a family member that had repeatedly stolen from me, past childhood trauma, my parents and myself. 

After that class I felt the immense pressure lift off me. It was reassurance that God was working within me and he had given me another support group within the St. Agnes community. I am extremely grateful and excited to officially join the Catholic Church and this community.

Please pray for Emily in the coming days and weeks. Saint Agnes, pray for her. Our Lady, Mother of the Church, pray for her.